It’s Not A Goodbye But A See You Later

20160920_172951.jpgIf your heart’s not in it, you won’t committ to it. And if you’re not committed, it will show.

I’ve tried to keep up with this blogsite for months now. I would normally come up with an idea, write the damn blogpost only to find myself procrastinating. And by now, I’ve learned that procrastination is a form of not being fully committed to the thing you’re trying to accomplish. Because if something’s truly of importance; you’ll find the time, energy and resources to get it done. Alas, I’m not committed – at least not fully. Not at this point of my life.

I started this blog back in 2015. I was at low point in my life, attempting to beat depression and anxiety. I was desperate to be heard and wanted to convey my emotions to written words. So I started soul searching through writing and the journey of an unbroken spirit began.

I’ve learned and I’ve grown these past years. Truly, the pain I felt back then became my strength today.

Today’s pain is tomorrow’s strength. And today’s mistakes are tomorrow’s wisdom.

I’ve been going back and forth these past months but eventually landed on a decission; to let “aminaberg” go (I’ll eventually delete it, just not yet). It’s been an amazing journey. I hope I’ve inspired at least one person out there. You’ve all been amazing and for that thank you!

Why? I’m choosing to move on to new projects. I’m writing a book that I’m now comfortable writing. I’ve started a small business. I’m raising my three beautifull children. Basically, I’m evolving, learning and being Habby. I’m not afraid of being myself and I don’t hide in plain sight anymore. I’m in a good place whilst juggling life – the good and the bad. But mostly focusing on the good.

To all battling life out there:

You’re stronger, wiser and more capable than what you believe.
Hang in there, it gets better.

If you want to connect with me, see what I’m up to or curious to who I am – you’ll find me on Instagram: @_fearlesshabby_ – hope to see you there!

For now, this is not a goodbye but a see you later.

Love,

A.B. (Habby)

 

 

 

Ready To Change, Hello 2018

img_20170222_083923.jpgI say goodbye to 2017. It’s been crappy, life changing and challenging, yet it’s given me memorable moments. and gifted me with much love.

However, looking back, I wouldn’t be the person I am today without those “crappy” experiences and emotions.

I’ve truly fought a battle and came out alive. I survived even though I felt my world was turned upside down. It all sounds a bit dramatic but in all honesty; I was at my lowest point halfway through 2017. I fought no one but my inner thoughts, emotions and demons. I fought hard and it all seemed never-ending.

Nonetheless, it is said that with every pain and through every turmoils there’s knowledge, and there’s always a glimpse (even several) of happy moments. 

Last year had it all: tears, laughter, anger, crazy hormones, fatigue, depression, more tears, shock, more anger. The list goes on and I could go on. Looking back; in the moments I felt my worst I had to accept what is. I was pregnant, I felt crappy, depressed and could barely move around. So with accepting my situation, I learned to not take anything for granted and of course, learn to rest on bad days.

I had to let go of guilt and remind myself (over and over) that I’m only human and there’s  usually light at the end of the tunnel. My “light” was my due-date.

I’ve missed writing. I’ve missed being creative. I’ve missed being me again. I’m hopeful but far from satisfied with every aspect of my personal life and spirituality. I lost small pieces of me along the way whilst putting out fires and creating stability but now I yearn to find me again.

I don’t necessarily have new year resolutions, however, I realize that there are areas in my life that need improving or change – for example; my writing and blogging journey.

The wisdom I take with me in the new year is the fact that I can’t change everything all at once and I can’t control everything. So in the end, “que sera, sera” but change is always unavoidable.
With love,


A.B. small

#LinkYourLife Round-Up Challenge 18/11/2016

Welcome to this week’s #LinkYourLife RoundUp Challenge. Here’s last week’s round-up to find out more info about this challenge and also to read the awesome work from other writers that was shared. To be honest, I had completely forgotten about this challenge but I am excited and honored to be selected for this week’s round up. Because my health, energy level and mindset is elsewhere, I haven’t been able to blog as often. However, I couldn’t disappoint for this week’s challenge. Hopefully, I haven’t left out anyone and that all the links work. If you would like to know more about the #LinkYourLife movement to connect and share through several online connections, see Shawna Ayoub Ainslie’s post on how “We Are Better Together.

Now I present the following blog posts, essays and articles shared by writers from the #LinkYourLife community.

Linda Hobden @LindaHobden

Linda shares an interesting interview with Los Angeles based photographer Nina Junger. While I know little about photography, I recommend this post for I find that it’s always inspiring to read about people’s journeys on pursuing their dreams and/or career choices/paths. 

“My dream is to spend 2 years in Africa shooting tribes and animals. I’m very inspired by the rawness and openness of tribes and animals. I am drawn to that type of passion in my own photographs.” – An Interview with photographer Nina Junger

Shawna Ayoub Ainslie @shawnamawna

There is no doubt that the U.S. election has many people questioning the future and where humanity is heading. Many are afraid and from my point of view; with good reasons. However, what is even more heartbreaking in all of this, is the many children (mostly in the U.S.) living in fear of what is to come and the uncertainty in the aftermath.

Shawna shares a personal, heartbreaking and pragmatic post on the aftermath of the election, from a child’s perspective. This is truly an appropriate piece, in light of everything happening in the world right now, and as a woman of color with children of color I felt the many emotions in this piece;

“My tears came later, when my second son returned from school and told me how one of his classmates spent the day crying because he is afraid of being separated from his immigrant family. How devastating it is to live in a country full of humans who can so easily set your humanity aside based on your genetic or locational origin.”Examining the Election Aftermath from a Child of Color’s Perspective

Thomas Ives @BestowingFire

Thomas shares an encouraging post that challenges us to ask ourselves a legitimate question. A beautiful piece inspiring us to think what is important in life and what we wish to leave behind.

“Life is not about clothes, cars or money. It is also not about self-gratification, selfishness, or being self-absorbed. We tend to make life complicated when actually it is quite simple.” What will your legacy be remembered for?

Lidi Wilks @lidywilks

Lidy is away for NaNoWriMo 2016 (how I envy her but wish her good luck!).  Therefore, she shares a guest post by blogger Fanni Suto @Fanni_Pumpkin, who writes and shares her experience and journey with writing and NaNoWriMo.

“I rolled up my sleeves and accepted the challenge. If I want to have kick-ass characters who can battle the whole world and come over every conflict I send in their way, I should start with triumphing over myself.” November, Novels, No Sleep by Fanni Suto

Cheryl Oreglia @CherylOreglia

Cheryl shares a wonderful message inspired by historian Vincent Harding. A message on society and our the important work each individual must go through. She writes:

“Vincent Harding said, <<We don’t need to pull our children out of the darkness but allow them to remain and be a light post in the darkness…This is how we liberate our communities.>> Our children need to find their own disciplines in this world.” That Magnificent Madman Jesus

Rachel Ann Hanson @rahanson10

Rachel shares a short, yet sweet post and offers a parenting input on the innocence and honesty behind nakedness when raising her precious ones, and using skin-to-skin as a soothing element.

“Nakedness is comforting. When E got her two-month shots she cried and cried and cried. Nothing soothed her until we got skin-to-skin.” Comfort and Strength

Tessara Dudley @tdudleypdx

If you’re fearful or in shocked of today’s America. You’re not alone. Tessara shares a honest post on the harsh reality due to this year’s U.S. presidential election, in what that may seem like the end of the world for some. However, there is hope…

“My non-reaction has been confusing everyone around me. In a community turned upside down and storming with emotion, I am not… but I am determined. I understand your fear and anger, and I will hold space for you to grieve, and I will do the work of protecting and supporting and loving us, and I will try to mitigate the terrible impact of Trump’s presidency.”The World is Ending – But It Isn’t

Charli Mills @Charli_Mills

Charli shares a post consisting of short prompts (in 99 words) by various writers. The topic is fitting as for many perhaps the end is near?! The central point of the stories is an unexpected ending, fitting the chaos and recent events. She writes:

“It’s fitting that writers explored what the end means. While we might want satisfactory endings, the end can also surprise us or shake us. This week we explore the possibilities of the end we didn’t see coming.”Beyond The End

*****

It’s a honor to be a part of #LinkYourLife with such amazing and inspiring souls and writers. Hopefully, you will all take the time to appreciate these wonderful writers and #LinkYourLifers.

Wish you all a happy Friday and a pleasant weekend!

Love,

AminaBerg

Noticing The Positive Side of Events

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I’ve been missing in action this past week and I’m pretty sure my time onwards will be unpredictable. For once again, I get to experience how life can change and alter this so called journey we’re all on. Either in a negative or positive sense.

This is truly the journey of an unbroken spirit but I feel I’m being tested these days. I don’t have the capacity to do it all. I don’t have the ability to push through which means what I can do is rest and take it all day by day until the reward itself. Eventually, I’ll be able to share my experience and lessons. For the time being, I need to figure out some things and once again alter my reality.

But life is life, I’m learning each day that even if things don’t go according to plan, it’s important to notice the positive side of events. Notice the lessons and the opportunities for self growth.

For when life changes its course it presents us with new possibilities!

I’ll try to post at least once a week for realistically it’s the best I can do. Please, bare with me!

With lots of love,

-A.B.-

The Life of Mia – Deep Cuts

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#21 – Previous parts in the serie can be found here. A weekly blog post where I share pieces of Mia’s story and journey (as I’m currently writing the novel!). 

They say the truth will set you free, but they leave out the part where it’ll first hurt and shatter everything. I rather hold on to the lie a little while longer, for ignorance is bliss.

*****

I didn’t expect nor prepare but then who in their right minds would. In the aftermath, silence and tranquility transforms itself into despair as I now find myself in a frantic state of mind. Every inch of me is trembling. It doesn’t take long before chaos erupts in the entire room, all in the midst of life and death. I’m able to move as my body stays frozen, like an image stuck in time; I feel numb. And in all blurriness, I notice blood on my hands from my attempt to stop the bleeding. The wall behind me, where I once stood in her room becomes my support and I watch, steps away, her motionless body as they try to bring her back. So far, no response but she’s yet to be gone. I notice more blood as they remove the towels I had wrapped around her wrist. Worst now becomes the reality I find myself in and in an instant it all changes and darkness reveals its true color.

“When did she cut herself?” she asks, and as a paramedic I’m sure she’s used to dealing with people in shock but from the look on her face, she’s hoping that I was still wearing my professional hat – set aside human emotions and provide her great insight.

“I..I..don’t know,” I stutter, hearing my words I can immediately hear the lack of certainty. For at some point, in all stillness, I stopped checking for the time. You know the saying, it’s always quiet before the storm hits? Well, the storm still rages on as the troubled girl I once held in my arms battles for her life; for a second chance, her return.

It’s all chaotic, madness even. On the floor, I’m in utter shock and attempting to process every small movement and every word while it all plays out in my head, but with all good reason everything seems to be operating at a faster pace. And unable to keep up, I rest on the realization that they know what they are doing. They have to, in order to save her.

“Emma, can you hear us?”

“Stay with us, Emma!”

As they call out her name, a tiny sense of hope compels my attention. But it doesn’t drown my helplessness, fear and trauma. If only I’d stayed by her side; wishing to turn back time floods the novelty of hope. It’s plain to see that time is crucial and I decide there’s no time to wallow in self-pity reminding myself the nightshift is not completely over and I’m still at work. I collect the courage and get myself back on my feet and aim at being of use to the boys who I’m sure are also affected by all of this.

As I make my way to the hallway, leaving the action behind, I bump into Sara who’s on the phone. As Emma’s primary contact at the house, she holds the responsibility to notify next of kin. In the midst of it all I must admit my first and only caller was Nicholas, not owing the fact that he’s office manager. As I approach her, I suspect it’s not Emma’s father on the other end who she’s talking to. As our eyes meet, she slowly nods at my direction with a firm look (the kind of looks that teacher give a kid as punishment for something they’ve done) and mouths ‘hello’. At my poor attempt of returning the same gesture I manage to draw a forced smile. Luckily, her focus shifts back to her conversation.

“…I agree, she’ll have to be admitted if it all goes well. It’s too risky to have her stay here.”

And just like that, as she fights for her life, her fate is now being decided as well as the duplicity of life tests my will. What’s my next move?

“…we’ll notify her father right away. Hold on. Mia! Perhaps, you can do that?!”

******

Happy Friday!

-A.B.-

Blog Anniversary – It’s All About You

newsiteJoin the blogfest on February 26, 2016. Let’s connect – there’ll be virtual drinks (and cake!) all around (will you come then?!). No small talk is required – just fun reads and hopefully new discoveries. This week I’m celebrating the one year anniversary of aminaberg.com. It all feels like it was yesterday. Nevertheless, the journey continues.

Thank you for being a part of the journey! Your likes, comments and visits are highly appreciated.

For me, blogging is all about sharing and connecting. Sharing thoughts and ideas along with connecting with readers and other bloggers. And with that in mind, I decided that I wanted to connect (more!) and/or reconnect with old ones.

Time runs its course and one does not always have the time to connect as much as one would want to. I’ll try harder, I promise!

However, I said ‘it’s all about you’ and I meant it. Which means exactly that: you and your blog/writing/page ect.

All you have to do is “show up” on Friday and share either a recent blogpost or your entire blogsite on the comment section below (on Friday’s post). Give a short description of what it’s about.

Now, that doesn’t sound so hard, right? I’ll be spending my day-off on Friday writing and moving around in the blogosphere, perhaps connecting with Y-O-U?

See you Friday!