I’m Not Perfect But Good Enough

Also in other words; “you can do it all, just not all at once.” No matter the phrase, I’m slowly understanding the meaning of both expression. For where I am in my life right now puts everything into perspective. Certain times and events in life opens and closes doors but unless you’ve sealed an entrance for any experience and aspiration, a possibilities still stands.

Admitting you can not do everything does not necessarily mean that you are not good enough but instead it expresses who you are as an individual. Also, admitting a fault takes strength and self-awareness to come to terms with your capabilities and abilities.

A new path presents itself in which I must explore, experience and live out furthermore. For that’s what you do when when life changes the course for you and leads you to a journey unclear and certainly not planned. Right?!

And, if faced with too much on your plate (like I have lately); it’s time to make a choice. Time to ask yourself the important questions.

In stressful times, my mantra used to be: ‘I can’t do it all.’ My first reaction would normally be an automatic negative response, which in my mind confirmed that I was a failure. ‘I’m not good enough!’

As women, some of us, have the notion that we have to be perfect and handle everything. Keep up with appearance and “competition”. I’m still not sure what kind of competition it is, when did I enter and where the hell the finish line is.

Now, I don’t contemplate defeat, I accept that I can’t do it all and have it all – at the same time. I accept that I’m not perfect but absolutely good enough.

Sensibility is hard to find sometime! But when it’s present I ask myself; what’s the worst thing that can happen if for example the house is a mess for a day or three? Or if I don’t get to post on my the way I used to? Well, nothing. Yeah, ok, my statistic will suffer but I will still remain in tact.

My aim should not be to please nor handle everything I think the world expects of me but be able to do what I’m able within reason capabilities and abilities. For I am who I am and that’s more than enough for today – tomorrow’s another different story.

-A.B.-

How Fear Can Empower Us


Fears lie within us all, from irrational to realistic ones in which they can be paralyzing and prevent us from change. And as human beings, we tend to want to hide or even masquerade any type of negative emotion because, understandably, negative emotions are usually uncomfortable or even challenging to go through yet alone deal with.

I fear many things. Like, if I surrender, let go of (all) control something bad will happen and the outcome will rapture my world. I fear not being good enough. I fear many scenarios that may or may not occur on any given moment in my life whereas some do circle in my mind whenever I feel discouraged, stressed out or start to doubt myself.

I fear for my love ones. In short: I fear, but we all do, right? I mean, fear something, in various degrees?!

However, fears can be positive rather than something entirely negative if we are willing to take the time to inspect what hides behind our fears. Conquering our fear enables change, empowerment and self-achievement, which can then help us overcome whatever that is to come.

I had many fears circling in my head when deciding to quit my previous jobs. I had every worst case scenarios planted in my thoughts, which then prevented me from taking action. But I knew deep inside I had to face my fears for the consequences were bigger and perhaps more serious and damaging.

Reality vs Fiction. When fearful we want to become more aware of reality, and our fears can help us distinguish fact from fiction. For there is a thin line between the two and being able to separate what’s real and likely to happened or worst case scenarios that have spiraled out of control in our mind gives us control and empowering us to go through the unpleasant.

Fears can drive us in the right direction and force us to take action. While depending on what fear each individual have, it can put us in live or die state of mind thus give a reminder of what’s at stake and what is important to us.

Fears challenges our behavior, thoughts and action thus changing and shaping us. For change in itself teaches us the journey of life as well as the many paths. Additionally, as we learn and evolve we overcome difficulties and obstacles, resulting in us conquering our fears rather than it preventing us from living the life we want.

Fears teaches us of our resilient ways. Every fear we face and may conquer demonstrates that we are indeed resilient beings. That: “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and life will not necessarily become any easier but as we learn and experience we will grow, evolve and get stronger. And with every fear conquered we devolope wisdom.

To face my fears I’ve searched high and low for any amount of courage I’m supposed to possess. However, my fears usually signalize change ,and at first change is scary, then inevitable and eventually something I come to terms with  as well as embrace. Fears tend to push me to what is important. Nevertheless, from fear I learn I’m capable to go through the emotions and I’m empowered by it to overcome and conquer. For through every challenge we come out wiser.

 

-A.B.-

Persistence, Motivation & Passion


“How do I do you do it?” I’m asked constantly these days, reffering to the responsibilities I have; some mandatory and some optional. I’m pretty sure there are some who think I’ve gone completely crazy.

Either way, I manage, cope and persevere by taking it all day by day. I’m not perfect. I’m not wired differently or maybe I am, one can never be too sure. But I get asked frequently how I manage to do it all and juggle everything I’ve put in my path. Trust me, I ask myself the same question everyday!

However, there is no doubt that behind every decisions I’ve made there have been doubts, tears, insecurities and judgement (mainly from my own mentality). Yet, behind all the negativities I would occasionally inject in my mind, there have also been signs of hope and faith in which I lean on to.

I don’t do it all then what’s necessarry!

To you, I may be courageous but from my point of view, it’s only a  normal procedure that goes with the task of living. I may not wear my fears boldly for the world to see, but my fears walk along side me as they remind me of what’s at stake as well as drive me forward. I don’t choose to be courageous, but I decide against letting fear tame me from the many possibilities.

For at the end of the day, you’ve only seen a tiny piece of the puzzle whilst I’ve been carving every piece behind all my failures, downswings and fears. There is always more to the story than what meets the eye.

But how do I do it, you ask? 

– Well, for starters, it helps being motivated and passionate about whatever you want to do! I lack that in previous paths and works.

I have an end goal, a passion and a dream along with numerous of responsibilities that drive me. Giving up or wasting time isn’t an option nor a luxery.

– By telling myself I’m creating the life I want for myself and my family. Visualizing my end goals!

By embracing the struggles , focusing on the good and welcome the ‘unknown’ with open arms.

lutherking-quoteBy trusting myself and believing that the choices I’ve made will eventually lead to something greater than myself. For everything happens for a reason, therefore, I’m on this journey for a purpose and meaning.

– By building the foundation for tomorrow’s achievements and successes. I have faith that things will fall into place even if today’s task seems impossible to the blind eye.

Although passion, motivation and persistence pay a big role, knowledge and the belief that I’m on my biggest adventure to my dreams is significant.

 


How do you do it all? What are you passionate about and what keeps you motivated?

 

Happy Wednesday!

-A.B.-

 

A Misunderstood Introvert

silenceI’ve always been conscious of how I look and how I’m perceived by others. But my personality isn’t exactly an aspect I’ve spent time nor energy dwelling on. Others have known me to be kind and approachable but also shy and quiet. I would say that with time and validation it all became enough as well as satisfying.

As I get older I’m more aware of who I am and my personality traits. In addition, I’m also learning to accept myself more than I used to in my younger years. It sounds like a cliché, but there is some truth to this; the older you get the more wiser and experienced. Life teaches you a thing or two along the way and a little by little youdiscover the person you were meant to be or were all along (it just took awhile to come to terms). 

Sadly, when you hit rock bottom at some point in life, you are faced with one enemy, yourself, in which you are forced to ‘bond’ with in order to heal, grow and persevere. 

I had to search long and hard within me before searching anywhere else, evaluate the person I used to put on display at the time and be true to the person I am inside.

Nowadays, I’ve come to terms with the understanding of the type of person I am. I’m a quiet person and that’s fine. I think before I speak, at times it takes me forever to find the courage to convey a thought or feeling. But that’s OK, too. I’m not socially fluent as people perceive me to be, for inside I struggle to keep up and have to reassure myself in order to remain sane in the moment. Luckily, I manage, for I’m aware of the benefits that come with social interactions.

However, as an introvert I feel misunderstood and I’ve come to discover this after several weekend get-aways with friends these past months.

Social settings are proving to be quite exhausting in long periods of time and I will occasionally find myself pull back. I will begin to shield myself from ‘outside noise’. I will retreat thus become more silent. Those around will expect something to be wrong and they will ask, several times, “are you ok?” “what’s wrong?”. They’ll even make a direct statement on how I should open up more and don’t be afraid to “stand my grounds”. I’ll reply back with simple words, sometimes with a smile plastered on my face and other times I’ll be too exhausted to even make an effort to smile: “everything’s ok, I’m just tired,” I’m known to say. It’s not a lie, neither the whole truth.

The truth behind my resignation and obvious silence is that at some point, it all becomes ‘too much’. I will feel mentally drained and I will seek silence in order to reboot my system. For in my experience, being up close with people (over time!) eventually makes me vulnerable and to the extent where I almost feel naked (uncomfortable!). At the same time, having to meet people’s expectations doesn’t quite unload the pressure.

The fact that I’m not enjoying myself is usually not a element, for there is simple logic for that; if I’m not enjoying myself, I leave. I rarely put myself in uncomfortable social settings. Besides, I make sure I surround myself with people I’m comfortable around and enjoy being with.

But there will still be moments where I’ll have to retreat, seek silence and reboot, that’s not going to change any time soon. Socializing is exhausting to me. Sadly, I know it can all be misunderstood but it has more to do about me and who I am rather than who’s next to me. And in a world where extroverts are praised and perhaps accepted, I’ve experienced that an introvert can easily be misunderstood. Fortunately, I’m learning to speak up and give some enlightenments to whomever that may need to understand (however, only when I’ve had a moment of silent). 
-A.B.-

What To Do When You Lack Motivation & Energy?

My Wall of Inspiration

 


There comes a time when motivation, inspiration, aspiration or even the desire to do anything, such as writing to save my life is nowhere to be found. Life becomes hard and sticking to your chores as well as responsibilities becomes even harder but also finding the excitement in doing anything productive seems to be the hardest task to face. This post reflects this period of time!

I went through several notebooks, notes on my phone and computer only to find “nothing” yet, mind you that I have enough ideas and notes to write/finish several blog posts and unfinished works for the rest of the month and more. However, my mind feels out of place, thus it’s not writer’s block but a combination of exhaustion, laziness and lack of motivation.

I know the reason why I’m in this position. I even started writing a post about it as a way to reflect over a personality trait of mine, social settings and how exhaustion takes over but I stopped after only one hundred words. I kept staring at the page, hoping that the words in my head would magically appear on it. Instead, I found asking myself and my husband a rhetorical question that I’m not even sure I have the answers to;

“what to do when you lack motivation and energy?”

In all laziness, I could probably make a fancy list to present but in all honesty I seem to be lost for words and have no idea of what to write. I’m stuck and I can’t seem to budge.

However, I have a tiny bit of sensibility and optimism left in me which tells me that a well rested head and a resilient frame and mind is capable of handling any adversity. In addition, my wall of inspiration tends to help.

Perhaps, you can share your wisdom on the matter; what do you do when you lack motivation and energy?

Happy Wednesday!!

-A.B.-

Why You Shouldn’t Regret Your Decisions

Failures

We’ve all been faced with tough choices or perhaps made decisions in our lives that have either made an impact or led us to building our future. On a daily basis, we have choices to make that will either lead to different outcomes and/or opportunities. Some choices will be significant or not so, some easy, some hard and some impossible to make. However, whenever we’re faced with a choice, there is a decision to be made where we have to choose one or the other.

Nevertheless, in the spirit of decision-making, there is always a chance that what we decide or choose will later on prove to be the wrong ones at some point in our lives. We make our choices based on our mindset, who we are as individuals, wants, needs and our perceptive view on the world surrounding us. But let’s not forget we tend to be creature of habit. 

The choices we’ve made must have at some point felt right, alas, we learn as we grow and evolve as individuals, that life events and choices will most likely test us in every possible way.

Realizing we have regrets in life can be a difficult emotion to overcome and accept. Especially, when living with the notion and constant memory of what we’ve “lost” along the way and wishing we could go back and change it all. Painfully, we come to the realization that it’s pretty much impossible.

Here is why you shouldn’t regret your decisions in life:

– They make you wiser and more prepare.

– They open doors and create new opportunities.

– They teach you something, one way or another. Like self-forgiveness.

– Everything in its right place and right time.

– They advance you further in the art of failure.

– They evoke growth and self-awareness.

For years I lived in regret of the things I had done (or not done), for the opportunities I missed out on, the choices I made for the sake of others and for wanting to remain in my comfort zone. All the “I should have this” or “I could have that” repetition in my head was doing more harm to my mental state, as well as preventing me from moving forward.

Still, here I am today, making new and different choices: some that might lead to success or some to more failure. However, one must embrace the choices made rather than wishing they had never happened. For you eventually realize that it has all been a part of something leading to the future.

It took me awhile but I can now say that I’ve come to terms with my choices in life. I accept that there is a meaning, purpose and time for everything. 

We must not live in regret of our choices and decisions but live in awe of the growth we gone through as well as the experiences and life lessons we’ve acquired on our journey based on previous choices and decisions.

– A.B.-

In Life, What Do We Know With Absolute Certainty?

There are certain things and aspects of creation we believe to be true or false mainly because it’s been proven through science and history. As well as through the nature of us human beings, our behaviour and experiences. Through the course of life we learn, experience and evolve as human beings.
But what do we know with absolute certainty?

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When You Realize You’re Responsible For Your Dreams

DreamsIn life only you can search and (hopefully) find what gives you meaning, happiness and purpose. And when you do, it’s basically all up to you. You can either aspire to become whatever it is that you desire or make no movement nor take action. It’s a choice rather than a predicament. For the truth is that you alone are responsible for your own life, happiness and achievements.

A dream remains just that, a dream if there is no aim to achieve it. With no plan nor action to drive you forward to your end goal, your life remains unchanged.

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3 Emotions That Stops Us From Taking The First Step

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Our mood are very much a part of who we are as individuals, good or bad. The human mind has its complexity as well as human emotions, which are usually triggered by what we think and believe. We can always find a link between the two. Either way, our emotions are not easy to comprehend at all times and how we feel and react has proven to have certain challenges.

Our state of mind can spring from situations, personality, experiences and interaction with others. Emotional patterns can be determined by these components. Alas, it’s pretty hard to predict how anyone will react or feel in any given situation.

We usually know what we want, seek or aspire in life. However, something normally holds us back and most of the time it’s proven to be our own or other people’s emotions. And based on personal experience and intimate conversation with close friends, I’ve realized that we tend to be slaves to our own emotions. Going round in circle.

Unfortunately, the state we are in and our thought patterns can hinder us from achieving the things we want or even overcome issues or difficulties that may occur in our lives.  And there are certain emotions that do just that, stops us from moving forward.

When we talk about change and the desire to take the first step, we go through various emotions as a reaction to whatever it is we want to change, undergo or attain. We seek guidance in hopes that someone or something will have the answer we seek, perhaps not (consciously) knowing exactly what it is we’re looking for. Moreover, in the hopes that something will outbalance the pros or cons and push us in the right direction without any fear or risk.

1. Control. Wanting to control everything in life is near to impossible. Now, I’m a firm believer that nothing is indeed impossible but I can be realistic and say that exercising control in every aspect of life will leave anyone eventually drained out and not to mention stuck. As human beings, the only thing that is certain within our control is our own self; our mind, body and emotions. The feeling of wanting control can prevent us from actually moving any further for we’re too focused and busy controlling everything else. Resulting in us losing perspective on what’s important. But essentially, control has its baseline from fear. Mostly, fear of the unknown and uncertainties. However, what we don’t always realize is that we’re built to handle any uncertainties and unpredicted challenges thrown our way. One of the beauty of being us.

2. Fear. A reaction to something instant that threatens our safety or comfort-zone. I guess, fear is probably the root to various emotions and behaviours – our immediate reaction when we’re challenged; physically and mentally. Fear can be a good thing, it can drive us or even motivate. But most of the time, fear has a tendency of paralyzing to act or even make a decision. It can prevent us from achieving or becoming what we really want in life.

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.” – James Stephens

3. Self-doubt. Trusting our own ability to make good choices based on who we are and what we want in life. Trusting that we’re capable and adequate to put in motion whatever the heart or/and mind desires. Somehow, we lose this ability of trust whenever in doubt of own capabilities and power. Which prevents us from reaching whatever greatness that lies in store for us if only we trusted ourselves more and took the first step.

Self doubt prevents you from reaching your highest potential.

It’s never going to be easy to take the first step to anything. We enjoy being in our comfort zone (who can blame us), comfortable with what we know and what we can control. There will always be fear, however, curiosity trumps the gloomy side of it.

Nonetheless, we cannot eliminate fear altogether but we can choose to work with it and use it to our advantage. And have faith it will all work out even if we don’t have all the details figured out. Building up our confidence is the only way we’ll be able to break free of self-doubt.

Usually, the heart, mind or/and soul knows what it wants. There is that ‘voice’ inside that starts out as a whisper, later on evolving as a roar whenever we choose to contradict it, which eventually becomes harder to ignore. Also known as our intuition. That’s the voice we should be able to trust more!

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.”       – Chauncey Depew

What emotion(s) has stopped or is stopping you from taking the first step?

Happy Wednesday!

-A.B.-

The UNpredictable Life

BukowskiLife runs its course. It goes on despite circumstances. Heartbreak. Pain. Sorrow. In certain events and incidents we are forced to move on. There is no “pause-button” to press. We mourn. We go through the emotions. And with time we heal and move past the trauma.

Behind every life that is lost, there is devastation and grief. Every death means something to someone. Although, I’ve been blessed to not have lost anyone immediate close to me but the death of people I’ve known of or perhaps heard of evokes an emotion, the obvious being of course sadness.

These past days people around me have been affected by an incident in the area that have caused 13 lives. All coming from work but never to make it home to their love ones. The incident became even more devastating when it affected someone I know.

After such news had spread, my mind thought of how unpredictable life is. How in one moment you’re saying goodbye to a loved one, expecting to see he or she again, only to have your world turned upside down in the next.

I thought of how life does not offer no guarantees, that we are only certain of “what-has-been” and “what-is”. And that everything else is just hope – for a tomorrow. Hope for a second chance.

When the wrath of death makes a present it often serves as a wake up call to some. A wake up to a hidden truth – life is precious. And that nothing should be taken for granted, no stone should be left unturned or no words should be left unsaid.

Most of us don’t go around worrying about living our last moments, days, minutes or seconds, as we shouldn’t. However, we should appreciate the present moment. I don’t fear death but the fear of losing someone I care deeply and/or love as I can imagine can be a tremendous heartbreak to recover from.

Then, I remind myself to be grateful for the now and live in the hope of another tomorrow. And aspire that after a ‘goodbye’ will come another ‘hello’.

“Death reflects the fragile side of life. Reminding us, that despite unpredictable events life is surprisingly beautiful.”

 

Happy Wednesday!

Love,

AminaBerg