It’s Not A Goodbye But A See You Later

20160920_172951.jpgIf your heart’s not in it, you won’t committ to it. And if you’re not committed, it will show.

I’ve tried to keep up with this blogsite for months now. I would normally come up with an idea, write the damn blogpost only to find myself procrastinating. And by now, I’ve learned that procrastination is a form of not being fully committed to the thing you’re trying to accomplish. Because if something’s truly of importance; you’ll find the time, energy and resources to get it done. Alas, I’m not committed – at least not fully. Not at this point of my life.

I started this blog back in 2015. I was at low point in my life, attempting to beat depression and anxiety. I was desperate to be heard and wanted to convey my emotions to written words. So I started soul searching through writing and the journey of an unbroken spirit began.

I’ve learned and I’ve grown these past years. Truly, the pain I felt back then became my strength today.

Today’s pain is tomorrow’s strength. And today’s mistakes are tomorrow’s wisdom.

I’ve been going back and forth these past months but eventually landed on a decission; to let “aminaberg” go (I’ll eventually delete it, just not yet). It’s been an amazing journey. I hope I’ve inspired at least one person out there. You’ve all been amazing and for that thank you!

Why? I’m choosing to move on to new projects. I’m writing a book that I’m now comfortable writing. I’ve started a small business. I’m raising my three beautifull children. Basically, I’m evolving, learning and being Habby. I’m not afraid of being myself and I don’t hide in plain sight anymore. I’m in a good place whilst juggling life – the good and the bad. But mostly focusing on the good.

To all battling life out there:

You’re stronger, wiser and more capable than what you believe.
Hang in there, it gets better.

If you want to connect with me, see what I’m up to or curious to who I am – you’ll find me on Instagram: @_fearlesshabby_ – hope to see you there!

For now, this is not a goodbye but a see you later.

Love,

A.B. (Habby)

 

 

 

You Live, You Learn – It Goes On

wp-1463539381183.jpgThe days just go by, alas, I realize we’re not automatically granted a new day.

I’ve been so occupied with everything that’s going on in my life to the point that I find it hard to  process the thought of preparing and planning a post. I’ll be the first to admit that I lack total commitment when it comes to my goals and dreams. However, along with a mental breakdown and a pinch of anxiety you discover that you just can’t control everything, and how quickly things can change from one moment to another.

But then again, that’s life in a nutshell!

On a positive note, you learn in life how to handle different circumstances, difficulties and challenges. Considering how we human beings go through various of ‘ups’ and ‘downs’ in the course of a single life span, we still don’t possess the ability to predict the future with certainty, therefore, making it almost impossible to be completely prepared for any storm that may come our way. But despite being unprepared, we learn how to cope and deal with the downswings.

So even when it feels like my life has been turned upside down, and that my emotions, misfortunes and certain events have caught and sent me in a whirlwind of lunacy, I still have to find a way to maneuver my way through it all – even when I can’t seem to find the strength to do so. And through my turmoils I can choose my battles and challenges with great care.

What gives me comfort is the thought that it’s all temporary. Pain is temporary. Your emotions can shift like the seasons. And you learn to handle what needs to be handled and do what needs to be done.

– A.B.

Scavenging Through Life

flowerThe following piece was written and published two years ago. At the time I was going through the emotions and taking life day by day. Although, I feel that I’ve come a long way, there are still moments when I feel I’m still scavenging through life, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

I choose to repost it because, although, it’s been two years the words are still relevant. Life is not easy and it’s not suppose to be either. Nevertheless, as I scavenge through I remind myself that the challenges of life does not define me but rather teach me the (valuable) lessons of life. I am who I am. I’m unique. We all are. I try to focus on the good things in life. I’m grateful. I’m living today but learning for tommorow.

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– Posted March 20, 2015 –

I'm AliveI believe we’re all unique, our journey is not what makes us stand out as individuals but how we react and handle our misfortunes.

My story and experiences are probably not so unique for most people but my story is not what makes me unique, is the person I am – body, mind and soul. Born into poverty, going through lost, abuse and rape, in addition, having to live an unstable life was a part of my journey. I can’t look at it in any other way. Therefore, it’s become more and more clear to me that my past was intended for me, no matter how painful it all was and sometime is. Nevertheless, without my disturbances and turbulences I wouldn’t be the person nor where I am today.

I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given – I can even go as far and say, I’m also grateful for the life and experiences I’ve been given. But mostly grateful for having a mother who managed to do (alone!) everything in her power to provide a better life and future for the both of us. No matter how difficult it all was, she never gave up. She prayed, visualized and acted on the choices given to her.

For a long time I spent my energy figuring out and asking why it all happened to me (us), when the more correct approach for me would have been; it all happened, my past is my own. Now, how can I use it? I guess, better late than never, right?

Having to go through many challenges in my life – good and bad, there’s two things most of my experiences have in common, which is the lessons they’ve all taught me (cause they’ve all taught something big or small) and that everything happens for a reason. We all know by now (or should know) that in every experience – good or bad, there’s a reason and lesson to be learned. We might not see the lesson while we’re experiencing but it’s always there and waiting to be received.

So for me, when something happens (mostly bad things) the knowledge of that there’s a lesson that will reveal itself makes me embrace and be aware of every moment of my turmoils. Now, I’m not saying it makes the problem or the particular challenge easy to deal with but in some type of form it gives me comfort knowing that nothing is in vain. Along the way in my journey I’ve discovered many of those reasons. So for me, the evidence is there.

“If you’re too busy questioning life, you’re not paying attention to what
the universe is trying to teach and reveal to you.”
– Amina Berg

I’ve come a long way, and even if I have more questions than answers at least I’m not afraid to explore and learn as I go along. Questioning life is not necessarily a bad thing, it just means you’re awake and aware but not paying attention in the other hand sabotages the experiencing and evolving part life and we risk missing out on the glues that life gives out.

I’ve stopped focusing and asking to many ‘why’-questions (e.g. ‘why me?”), because it blinded me to the answers that were at times right in front of me. Now, I practice asking ‘how’-questions. The biggest one of all: “how can I insert more meaning, happiness and purpose in my life?”  Fortunately, I’m still learning and isn’t that what life is also about?

 

Wish you all a pleasant weekend!

With love,

A.B.

How Fear Can Empower Us


Fears lie within us all, from irrational to realistic ones in which they can be paralyzing and prevent us from change. And as human beings, we tend to want to hide or even masquerade any type of negative emotion because, understandably, negative emotions are usually uncomfortable or even challenging to go through yet alone deal with.

I fear many things. Like, if I surrender, let go of (all) control something bad will happen and the outcome will rapture my world. I fear not being good enough. I fear many scenarios that may or may not occur on any given moment in my life whereas some do circle in my mind whenever I feel discouraged, stressed out or start to doubt myself.

I fear for my love ones. In short: I fear, but we all do, right? I mean, fear something, in various degrees?!

However, fears can be positive rather than something entirely negative if we are willing to take the time to inspect what hides behind our fears. Conquering our fear enables change, empowerment and self-achievement, which can then help us overcome whatever that is to come.

I had many fears circling in my head when deciding to quit my previous jobs. I had every worst case scenarios planted in my thoughts, which then prevented me from taking action. But I knew deep inside I had to face my fears for the consequences were bigger and perhaps more serious and damaging.

Reality vs Fiction. When fearful we want to become more aware of reality, and our fears can help us distinguish fact from fiction. For there is a thin line between the two and being able to separate what’s real and likely to happened or worst case scenarios that have spiraled out of control in our mind gives us control and empowering us to go through the unpleasant.

Fears can drive us in the right direction and force us to take action. While depending on what fear each individual have, it can put us in live or die state of mind thus give a reminder of what’s at stake and what is important to us.

Fears challenges our behavior, thoughts and action thus changing and shaping us. For change in itself teaches us the journey of life as well as the many paths. Additionally, as we learn and evolve we overcome difficulties and obstacles, resulting in us conquering our fears rather than it preventing us from living the life we want.

Fears teaches us of our resilient ways. Every fear we face and may conquer demonstrates that we are indeed resilient beings. That: “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and life will not necessarily become any easier but as we learn and experience we will grow, evolve and get stronger. And with every fear conquered we devolope wisdom.

To face my fears I’ve searched high and low for any amount of courage I’m supposed to possess. However, my fears usually signalize change ,and at first change is scary, then inevitable and eventually something I come to terms with  as well as embrace. Fears tend to push me to what is important. Nevertheless, from fear I learn I’m capable to go through the emotions and I’m empowered by it to overcome and conquer. For through every challenge we come out wiser.

 

-A.B.-

The Permission To Just Be

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…with no pressure, limitations or the concern of hauling behind in life.

Life happens, it doesn’t stop nor does it always go the direction we may want it to. And no matter how much we try to control certain outcomes and aspects of it, we cannot hide the unpredictability of the journey we so call life.

There are times when it seems as if inspiration, motivation or the will to keep going is just not present. And when it’s not, why is it we feel the urge to force a situation into something it’s not meant to be or even interfere and tamper with timeline, nature or ourselves. In the name of problem solving we’ll, at our worse, battle whatever warfare just to feel that we belong in this world and by any means, move forward – towards the future.

So, we push ourselves, searching for whatever magic potion, formula or words that is going to magically revive us to action thus get us to our imaginative destination.

I’m no exception. I tend to push myself whenever I feel I’m falling behind in any aspect of my life. Like the school assignment that needed to be done that late afternoon or being late for something because you were contemplating if today is worth getting up for. And when I fail to generate action or (good/expecting) results, guilt comes sneaking up. Suddenly, self-love and sensibility seem to vanish out the window and in comes self-doubt, fear and a list of all the ‘shoulda, coulda and woulda’.

While I’m very much aware that the novel I keep procrastinating from time to time, won’t write itself it’s also a valid point that forcing it is surely not helping the process. And the many piles of laundry won’t wash and magically transport themselves to their rightful places. However, it’s not doing me any good to overdrive myself to a point of complete exhaustion (for I’ve been there and it’s not a pleasant place to be).

I’m only human. I can only do so much…and so little, but what is certain is that I cannot be in two places at once and do everything at the right time. Perfect I am not!

Regardless, life moves on and as I strive to whatever vision and unrealistic expectations I must also remind and give myself permission to just be. Permission to be who I damn well please in the moment, with no pressure or guilt. For from experience, forcing what’s not present  or perhaps not meant to be, is torturing the body, mind and soul. It’s pushing the limits where perhaps life does not intend us to push.

No matter what state I’m in, I should accept life for what it is (unpredictable, cruel, unfair yet full of wonders!). My mortal ways is what makes me human and very much a part of this world. Life will continue to have its ups and downs, regardless of what I may have in plan.

It’s not all about achieving success, aspiring to be or constantly living up to numerous expectations but also being able to think for yourself, learn, experience and have the courage to take actions when necessary.

Our aim to rush without any second thought doesn’t seem to serve us any good, if we’re constantly forcing ourselves to keep up in fear of falling behind as a result putting more pressure, limitations and fear in us.

Why not just give ourselves the permission to just be and trust that whatever or wherever we need to be, we’ll eventually get there?

-A.B.

Why You Shouldn’t Regret Your Decisions

Failures

We’ve all been faced with tough choices or perhaps made decisions in our lives that have either made an impact or led us to building our future. On a daily basis, we have choices to make that will either lead to different outcomes and/or opportunities. Some choices will be significant or not so, some easy, some hard and some impossible to make. However, whenever we’re faced with a choice, there is a decision to be made where we have to choose one or the other.

Nevertheless, in the spirit of decision-making, there is always a chance that what we decide or choose will later on prove to be the wrong ones at some point in our lives. We make our choices based on our mindset, who we are as individuals, wants, needs and our perceptive view on the world surrounding us. But let’s not forget we tend to be creature of habit. 

The choices we’ve made must have at some point felt right, alas, we learn as we grow and evolve as individuals, that life events and choices will most likely test us in every possible way.

Realizing we have regrets in life can be a difficult emotion to overcome and accept. Especially, when living with the notion and constant memory of what we’ve “lost” along the way and wishing we could go back and change it all. Painfully, we come to the realization that it’s pretty much impossible.

Here is why you shouldn’t regret your decisions in life:

– They make you wiser and more prepare.

– They open doors and create new opportunities.

– They teach you something, one way or another. Like self-forgiveness.

– Everything in its right place and right time.

– They advance you further in the art of failure.

– They evoke growth and self-awareness.

For years I lived in regret of the things I had done (or not done), for the opportunities I missed out on, the choices I made for the sake of others and for wanting to remain in my comfort zone. All the “I should have this” or “I could have that” repetition in my head was doing more harm to my mental state, as well as preventing me from moving forward.

Still, here I am today, making new and different choices: some that might lead to success or some to more failure. However, one must embrace the choices made rather than wishing they had never happened. For you eventually realize that it has all been a part of something leading to the future.

It took me awhile but I can now say that I’ve come to terms with my choices in life. I accept that there is a meaning, purpose and time for everything. 

We must not live in regret of our choices and decisions but live in awe of the growth we gone through as well as the experiences and life lessons we’ve acquired on our journey based on previous choices and decisions.

– A.B.-

When You Realize You’re Responsible For Your Dreams

DreamsIn life only you can search and (hopefully) find what gives you meaning, happiness and purpose. And when you do, it’s basically all up to you. You can either aspire to become whatever it is that you desire or make no movement nor take action. It’s a choice rather than a predicament. For the truth is that you alone are responsible for your own life, happiness and achievements.

A dream remains just that, a dream if there is no aim to achieve it. With no plan nor action to drive you forward to your end goal, your life remains unchanged.

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Self Awareness To Numerous Possibilities

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And to break free from bad habits, discouraging mind sets and negative thinking. It’s so far been a challenging journey filled with self-doubt, fear, self hate and many tears. But then again, change is never easy to embrace completely without any resistance.

However, it gets easier to embrace it all when it comes from within. And with self awareness, determination and hard work it’s possible to reach whatever that’s been locked inside; aspirations, dreams, desires and hope. You then manage to see past the bad stuff.

This fall I’m taking a leap of faith. I may fail but at least I’m not afraid the aspect of failure. I’m willing to give it a try and see where it will take me.

This fall I will be juggling motherhood, the role of wife, working nights and on top of it all I’m becoming (yet again, after 3-4 years) a full time student, studying English and Literature.

I’ve come a long way from where it all began, I realize that now and I embrace the changes. I practice self awareness more than before as it has made me more open to the world around me, myself and my capabilities.

Journey

Through self awareness I learn from my past, live in gratitude in the present and believe great things for the future. I’m no longer afraid to acknowledge who I am and what I want to be.

Self-awareness is good…

until you’re forced to connect with the unpleasant side of various emotions and thoughts. For most of us feel something but most rarely connect with what lies beneath or behind their emotions. I can relate. I used to hide my feelings until it slowly began to eat me alive.

I guess, my point is that through self awareness we learn, evolve and discover our potentials and endless possibilities.

I hope you are all enjoying the summer. I’ve just arrived from a summer vacation with the family. I’m trying to balance and hold on to old routines when it comes to writing, blogging, social media, workout sessions etc. I can reveal that I’m failing miserably. So, bare with me if I miss a day (or two). I promise I’ll make up for it when things settle down.

I now leave you with wise words of wiseman Lao Tzu which says it all, don’t you agree?

Watch your thoughts, they become words
Watch your words, they become your actions
Watch your actions, they become your habits
Watch your habits, they become your character
Watch your character, they become your destiny

Happy Wednesday


-A.B.-

Feeling Stuck and How To Deal With It

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It’s pretty simple – we feel stuck when we feel our lives should be different than it is. And when we fight the whole process by searching, changing or forcing certain aspects we get even more stuck – for we try to convince ourselves/make a list of all the things we should be doing along with all the ‘haves’ statements. We will try to control and manipulate our way through the journey rather than just relax and witness what life is offering. You’ll be surprised that it brings a lot!

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Sometimes, something’s gotta give.

as.long.you.dont.stopYou will have to compromise, reboot, take a break (or breakdown) or even admit defeat, for at the end of the day you’re only human and there is only so much you can do and actually commit to do. Like saying ‘yes’ to help someone move a sofa out of an apartment (alas, it because it’s the right thing to do!).

It’s day 13 (tomorrow day 14) of the #LinkYourLife blogging challenge and honestly, I had to choose my battles and victories very carefully this week. And I chose to put the challenge aside (at the last minute) for the weekend. I don’t normally blog everyday (and now I know why!), so I kinda knew this day would come when I decided to do this challenge.

There comes a time, now and then, when you will have to remind yourself you can’t do everything at once and expect to come out alive. And between work related stress, parenting, marriage, personal commitments (like trying to write a damn book!!!), online courses, blogging, workout, finding the time to do this and that – I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was beginning to crawl my way through…

Therefore, I needed a break, from something! So something’s gotta give! Either way, it sucks! Excuse my language and writing today…I’m just sooo exhausted!! Hey, look at the bright side, I still manage certain things, like writing this short, short post!

I mean, one can admit defeat but always strive to find the strength to keep going, no matter how small the steps!

I wish you all a pleasant (and relaxed) Weekend!!!

-A.B.-