You’ll Get There, Eventually

Forgive me for my absence. 

However, it has not been for no (good) reason. I write alot about life and once again life proves to be a funny thing full with surprises and lots of OMG moments.

Forrest Gump (or to be fair, his mother) said it so well : ”Life was like a box of chocolate. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

For the past nine months I’ve gone through a though (unexpected) pregnancy with depression as a companion. Four weeks ago, I gave birth to a beautifull baby girl. Scary enough, I’m now a mother of three and life as a mother (parent) is nothing but boring.

Although, I write this in a good state of mind with my baby asleep in my arms, I can’t promise that I’ll be able to be consistent with my blog. As much as I enjoy writing, it’s not always possible for me to find time, space and the conscious to wander off to writing mode.

I don’t stress though. I tell myself «You’ll get there eventually.» Destination unknown, nevertheless, to where I want or need to be.

Stay stunned for more… The journey continues!

Love,

– A.B. –

Whithin An Instant Moment

soulsearching

I’ve been gone for a while. But still, behind closed doors I’ve been writing, soul searching and living life as it was meant for me, for now. I carry with me new words, new experiences and new life lessons.

He will not cure me.

But for a moment, in his arms I felt love. Hope.
An antidote for my aching heart and broken spirit.

“It’s all going to be alright,” he whispered..

Simple words; in which I knew to be true. Somehow. Not because of him, nor rescued by him. My will was more persistent than any cure. At best, his love and words were a helping hand through it all.

 

With love,

– A.B. –

Proud To Be

riseconquer

***
I stand strong 

Proud to be
As I am praised 
For the insignificant
But I strive on
My mother’s struggles
Her legacy;
Reminding me of what I am
Who I am in the eye of man
But also who I ought to be
I am today’s woman;
Capable and mighty
In every step I take
I stand and I strive
I am proud to be

****

-A.B.-

​A Broken Record Player

soulsearching

It has taken me over a month to get here. Losing count of how many breakdowns and crisis I’ve gone through. I’ve been wandering off but getting nowhere. Staring at a blank page but whatever it is, it chooses to keep silent. And like a broken record, I remain untouched.

I feel trapped. Not lost, for somehow reason seems to follow me as it battles to keep me sane. Where do I go from here? A reasonable question as time becones both my enemy and friend.

I don’t know where I’m headed but I’m waiting. Waiting for my destination as I live each moment with every emotion and thought. But whatever I’m headed seem far ahead…too far as if time has chosen to stop and I, catching my breath in the shadows.

I ask, what’s wrong with me? I break down at the thought of my imperfections. Listing my failures …I can’t seem to break free, I’m a prisoner of my thoughts, thus holding the key to freedom. Alas, it all comes back to sensibility.

Honestly, I ask, how on earth I managed to get here. Forgetting that life…oh, life, It’s bigger than any ‘hows’. Beside, asking how has so far got me nowhere.

So what’s next? Oh, I wish I knew. I may have a broken record player, but my melodies still remain to play.

-A.B.-

Scavenging Through Life

flowerThe following piece was written and published two years ago. At the time I was going through the emotions and taking life day by day. Although, I feel that I’ve come a long way, there are still moments when I feel I’m still scavenging through life, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

I choose to repost it because, although, it’s been two years the words are still relevant. Life is not easy and it’s not suppose to be either. Nevertheless, as I scavenge through I remind myself that the challenges of life does not define me but rather teach me the (valuable) lessons of life. I am who I am. I’m unique. We all are. I try to focus on the good things in life. I’m grateful. I’m living today but learning for tommorow.

*******************************

– Posted March 20, 2015 –

I'm AliveI believe we’re all unique, our journey is not what makes us stand out as individuals but how we react and handle our misfortunes.

My story and experiences are probably not so unique for most people but my story is not what makes me unique, is the person I am – body, mind and soul. Born into poverty, going through lost, abuse and rape, in addition, having to live an unstable life was a part of my journey. I can’t look at it in any other way. Therefore, it’s become more and more clear to me that my past was intended for me, no matter how painful it all was and sometime is. Nevertheless, without my disturbances and turbulences I wouldn’t be the person nor where I am today.

I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given – I can even go as far and say, I’m also grateful for the life and experiences I’ve been given. But mostly grateful for having a mother who managed to do (alone!) everything in her power to provide a better life and future for the both of us. No matter how difficult it all was, she never gave up. She prayed, visualized and acted on the choices given to her.

For a long time I spent my energy figuring out and asking why it all happened to me (us), when the more correct approach for me would have been; it all happened, my past is my own. Now, how can I use it? I guess, better late than never, right?

Having to go through many challenges in my life – good and bad, there’s two things most of my experiences have in common, which is the lessons they’ve all taught me (cause they’ve all taught something big or small) and that everything happens for a reason. We all know by now (or should know) that in every experience – good or bad, there’s a reason and lesson to be learned. We might not see the lesson while we’re experiencing but it’s always there and waiting to be received.

So for me, when something happens (mostly bad things) the knowledge of that there’s a lesson that will reveal itself makes me embrace and be aware of every moment of my turmoils. Now, I’m not saying it makes the problem or the particular challenge easy to deal with but in some type of form it gives me comfort knowing that nothing is in vain. Along the way in my journey I’ve discovered many of those reasons. So for me, the evidence is there.

“If you’re too busy questioning life, you’re not paying attention to what
the universe is trying to teach and reveal to you.”
– Amina Berg

I’ve come a long way, and even if I have more questions than answers at least I’m not afraid to explore and learn as I go along. Questioning life is not necessarily a bad thing, it just means you’re awake and aware but not paying attention in the other hand sabotages the experiencing and evolving part life and we risk missing out on the glues that life gives out.

I’ve stopped focusing and asking to many ‘why’-questions (e.g. ‘why me?”), because it blinded me to the answers that were at times right in front of me. Now, I practice asking ‘how’-questions. The biggest one of all: “how can I insert more meaning, happiness and purpose in my life?”  Fortunately, I’m still learning and isn’t that what life is also about?

 

Wish you all a pleasant weekend!

With love,

A.B.

To Rise & Cope

untitled-drawing-7

To Rise & Cope

Today I start with or without

I attempt to begin, my strive

Tomorrow I start where I left off

In a moment I convince the mind

To put aside all losses and despair

Alas, battle between armed forces

Reminded that, as I weep my pain

I thrive in my discovery

I am resilient.

I keep my shape.

I overcome.

I survive.

***

– A.B.-

A New Chapter & It’s All About What Matters

brightfutureFirst of all, I want to wish you all a happy new year. Time travels fast, I can’t believe it’s 2017!

The holiday for me has been about appreciating what I have whilst taking it all one day at a time. Although I’m still coping with certain challenges and emotions that needs to be sorted out, I’m also aware of what’s important and what isn’t.

I realize it’s been a while I’ve posted anything. Life happened as it always does near the end of 2016 and in an instant moment we were forced to embrace change and prepare ourselves for any ups and downs. Fortunately, someone close encouraged me to rekindle the fire and put pen to paper again. Therefore, I’ll be taking baby steps back in my writing bubble and do my best to post frequently.

Nevertheless, as much as I love and enjoy the art of writing, I know that I must not force it for the sake of likes and popularity. I must have something to say (to write), which I have but from experience the words come out when they are ready to come out.

I will eventually put to words what I’ve been through these past months – the bad side of it but also the joyful parts. Still, the journey still continues alongside everything else but I’m optimistic despite the ups and downs of life.

I prepared for a new chapter filled with gratitude for what has been and for what is. Now, I start a new chapter whilst acknowledging what matters in my life. I choose to work towards enjoyment, love, happiness and creating new memories. I discard what doesn’t serve any purpose, although I believe that no experience or acquaintance are wasted.

The new year will probably hold a few surprises here and there but hopefully most of them are good ones.

It’s a new and exciting chapter and it’s all about what matters in my life. Furthermore, I’m looking forward to share with you more of this journey so called life – past, present and furture!

Love,

A.B.

 

 

#LinkYourLife Round-Up Challenge 18/11/2016

Welcome to this week’s #LinkYourLife RoundUp Challenge. Here’s last week’s round-up to find out more info about this challenge and also to read the awesome work from other writers that was shared. To be honest, I had completely forgotten about this challenge but I am excited and honored to be selected for this week’s round up. Because my health, energy level and mindset is elsewhere, I haven’t been able to blog as often. However, I couldn’t disappoint for this week’s challenge. Hopefully, I haven’t left out anyone and that all the links work. If you would like to know more about the #LinkYourLife movement to connect and share through several online connections, see Shawna Ayoub Ainslie’s post on how “We Are Better Together.

Now I present the following blog posts, essays and articles shared by writers from the #LinkYourLife community.

Linda Hobden @LindaHobden

Linda shares an interesting interview with Los Angeles based photographer Nina Junger. While I know little about photography, I recommend this post for I find that it’s always inspiring to read about people’s journeys on pursuing their dreams and/or career choices/paths. 

“My dream is to spend 2 years in Africa shooting tribes and animals. I’m very inspired by the rawness and openness of tribes and animals. I am drawn to that type of passion in my own photographs.” – An Interview with photographer Nina Junger

Shawna Ayoub Ainslie @shawnamawna

There is no doubt that the U.S. election has many people questioning the future and where humanity is heading. Many are afraid and from my point of view; with good reasons. However, what is even more heartbreaking in all of this, is the many children (mostly in the U.S.) living in fear of what is to come and the uncertainty in the aftermath.

Shawna shares a personal, heartbreaking and pragmatic post on the aftermath of the election, from a child’s perspective. This is truly an appropriate piece, in light of everything happening in the world right now, and as a woman of color with children of color I felt the many emotions in this piece;

“My tears came later, when my second son returned from school and told me how one of his classmates spent the day crying because he is afraid of being separated from his immigrant family. How devastating it is to live in a country full of humans who can so easily set your humanity aside based on your genetic or locational origin.”Examining the Election Aftermath from a Child of Color’s Perspective

Thomas Ives @BestowingFire

Thomas shares an encouraging post that challenges us to ask ourselves a legitimate question. A beautiful piece inspiring us to think what is important in life and what we wish to leave behind.

“Life is not about clothes, cars or money. It is also not about self-gratification, selfishness, or being self-absorbed. We tend to make life complicated when actually it is quite simple.” What will your legacy be remembered for?

Lidi Wilks @lidywilks

Lidy is away for NaNoWriMo 2016 (how I envy her but wish her good luck!).  Therefore, she shares a guest post by blogger Fanni Suto @Fanni_Pumpkin, who writes and shares her experience and journey with writing and NaNoWriMo.

“I rolled up my sleeves and accepted the challenge. If I want to have kick-ass characters who can battle the whole world and come over every conflict I send in their way, I should start with triumphing over myself.” November, Novels, No Sleep by Fanni Suto

Cheryl Oreglia @CherylOreglia

Cheryl shares a wonderful message inspired by historian Vincent Harding. A message on society and our the important work each individual must go through. She writes:

“Vincent Harding said, <<We don’t need to pull our children out of the darkness but allow them to remain and be a light post in the darkness…This is how we liberate our communities.>> Our children need to find their own disciplines in this world.” That Magnificent Madman Jesus

Rachel Ann Hanson @rahanson10

Rachel shares a short, yet sweet post and offers a parenting input on the innocence and honesty behind nakedness when raising her precious ones, and using skin-to-skin as a soothing element.

“Nakedness is comforting. When E got her two-month shots she cried and cried and cried. Nothing soothed her until we got skin-to-skin.” Comfort and Strength

Tessara Dudley @tdudleypdx

If you’re fearful or in shocked of today’s America. You’re not alone. Tessara shares a honest post on the harsh reality due to this year’s U.S. presidential election, in what that may seem like the end of the world for some. However, there is hope…

“My non-reaction has been confusing everyone around me. In a community turned upside down and storming with emotion, I am not… but I am determined. I understand your fear and anger, and I will hold space for you to grieve, and I will do the work of protecting and supporting and loving us, and I will try to mitigate the terrible impact of Trump’s presidency.”The World is Ending – But It Isn’t

Charli Mills @Charli_Mills

Charli shares a post consisting of short prompts (in 99 words) by various writers. The topic is fitting as for many perhaps the end is near?! The central point of the stories is an unexpected ending, fitting the chaos and recent events. She writes:

“It’s fitting that writers explored what the end means. While we might want satisfactory endings, the end can also surprise us or shake us. This week we explore the possibilities of the end we didn’t see coming.”Beyond The End

*****

It’s a honor to be a part of #LinkYourLife with such amazing and inspiring souls and writers. Hopefully, you will all take the time to appreciate these wonderful writers and #LinkYourLifers.

Wish you all a happy Friday and a pleasant weekend!

Love,

AminaBerg

Reflection

When you’re unable to function the way you’re used to, is when you realize how fortunate you were to begin with. When you’re trapped in you’re own body and missery, is when hope slowly evaporates. You see no end to you’re missery and what feels like suffering.
You feel the essence of you slowly drifting away. You feel no joy but the regret of taking it all for granted.  Although you know relief is far yet prominent, you still find yourself drowning in despair. However, well aware, that in order to make it through the discomfort of your blessings you must persevere and stay hopeful. For there is no any other way but to take it all day by day. 

 

– A.B.-