Ready To Change, Hello 2018

img_20170222_083923.jpgI say goodbye to 2017. It’s been crappy, life changing and challenging, yet it’s given me memorable moments. and gifted me with much love.

However, looking back, I wouldn’t be the person I am today without those “crappy” experiences and emotions.

I’ve truly fought a battle and came out alive. I survived even though I felt my world was turned upside down. It all sounds a bit dramatic but in all honesty; I was at my lowest point halfway through 2017. I fought no one but my inner thoughts, emotions and demons. I fought hard and it all seemed never-ending.

Nonetheless, it is said that with every pain and through every turmoils there’s knowledge, and there’s always a glimpse (even several) of happy moments. 

Last year had it all: tears, laughter, anger, crazy hormones, fatigue, depression, more tears, shock, more anger. The list goes on and I could go on. Looking back; in the moments I felt my worst I had to accept what is. I was pregnant, I felt crappy, depressed and could barely move around. So with accepting my situation, I learned to not take anything for granted and of course, learn to rest on bad days.

I had to let go of guilt and remind myself (over and over) that I’m only human and there’s  usually light at the end of the tunnel. My “light” was my due-date.

I’ve missed writing. I’ve missed being creative. I’ve missed being me again. I’m hopeful but far from satisfied with every aspect of my personal life and spirituality. I lost small pieces of me along the way whilst putting out fires and creating stability but now I yearn to find me again.

I don’t necessarily have new year resolutions, however, I realize that there are areas in my life that need improving or change – for example; my writing and blogging journey.

The wisdom I take with me in the new year is the fact that I can’t change everything all at once and I can’t control everything. So in the end, “que sera, sera” but change is always unavoidable.
With love,


A.B. small

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