Life happens, it doesn’t stop nor does it always go the direction we may want it to. And no matter how much we try to control certain outcomes and aspects of it, we cannot hide the unpredictability of the journey we so call life.
There are times when it seems as if inspiration, motivation or the will to keep going is just not present. And when it’s not, why is it we feel the urge to force a situation into something it’s not meant to be or even interfere and tamper with timeline, nature or ourselves. In the name of problem solving we’ll, at our worse, battle whatever warfare just to feel that we belong in this world and by any means, move forward – towards the future.
So, we push ourselves, searching for whatever magic potion, formula or words that is going to magically revive us to action thus get us to our imaginative destination.
I’m no exception. I tend to push myself whenever I feel I’m falling behind in any aspect of my life. Like the school assignment that needed to be done that late afternoon or being late for something because you were contemplating if today is worth getting up for. And when I fail to generate action or (good/expecting) results, guilt comes sneaking up. Suddenly, self-love and sensibility seem to vanish out the window and in comes self-doubt, fear and a list of all the ‘shoulda, coulda and woulda’.
While I’m very much aware that the novel I keep procrastinating from time to time, won’t write itself it’s also a valid point that forcing it is surely not helping the process. And the many piles of laundry won’t wash and magically transport themselves to their rightful places. However, it’s not doing me any good to overdrive myself to a point of complete exhaustion (for I’ve been there and it’s not a pleasant place to be).
I’m only human. I can only do so much…and so little, but what is certain is that I cannot be in two places at once and do everything at the right time. Perfect I am not!
Regardless, life moves on and as I strive to whatever vision and unrealistic expectations I must also remind and give myself permission to just be. Permission to be who I damn well please in the moment, with no pressure or guilt. For from experience, forcing what’s not present or perhaps not meant to be, is torturing the body, mind and soul. It’s pushing the limits where perhaps life does not intend us to push.
No matter what state I’m in, I should accept life for what it is (unpredictable, cruel, unfair yet full of wonders!). My mortal ways is what makes me human and very much a part of this world. Life will continue to have its ups and downs, regardless of what I may have in plan.
It’s not all about achieving success, aspiring to be or constantly living up to numerous expectations but also being able to think for yourself, learn, experience and have the courage to take actions when necessary.
Our aim to rush without any second thought doesn’t seem to serve us any good, if we’re constantly forcing ourselves to keep up in fear of falling behind as a result putting more pressure, limitations and fear in us.
Why not just give ourselves the permission to just be and trust that whatever or wherever we need to be, we’ll eventually get there?