#18 – Previous parts in the serie can be found here.
A weekly blog post where I share pieces of Mia’s stories and journey (as I’m currently writing the novel!)
I failed in my attempt to erase it all from my memory. It all plays out in my head: lying down in a bed whilst unable to move no matter my efforts, then realizing I was incapable of movement. I felt no fear but shame and blame. I kept repeating my mantra as if it would make everything better; “Breath and you’ll make it through.” But I wanted to stop. I wanted him to stop. I could feel everything, his wrath on top of me. The beating of my heart felt as if life was taunting me. Every sign of life or movement felt like an insult. I remember staring at a blurry image which reeked of alcohol. The sound of his breathing, the rough touch of his hands and my silent cry that nobody could hear. He was in, out and then over. I could have stopped it and no one could convince me otherwise. The memories of last night are still vivid. A night when sensibility got outruled by spontaneity and one’s will is put the test. Once again.