It’s pretty simple – we feel stuck when we feel our lives should be different than it is. And when we fight the whole process by searching, changing or forcing certain aspects we get even more stuck – for we try to convince ourselves/make a list of all the things we should be doing along with all the ‘haves’ statements. We will try to control and manipulate our way through the journey rather than just relax and witness what life is offering. You’ll be surprised that it brings a lot!
I’ve shared on several occassions my experience of having the feeling of being stuck in my life. I’ve had to battle the repetitive sensation of not being in motion and in various moments it would feel as if time was actually standing still.
For me, being stuck is having the feeling that I’m not moving forward or even not in control. No goals, meaning or purpose – everything seems to be hazy, making it difficult to find my way.
Looking back on the past couple of months or even year, my experience dictates that I was feeling stuck because I was nurturing the belief that in order to be happy I needed to have a plan for tomorrow, next month or even next year. I had to have everything planned and under my control. Moreover, with fears, doubts and no plan in hand I questioned everything, even my own being and existence.
Being stuck was something I know all too well. And back then, I felt I only existed rather than living life the way it’s intended for me or the way I intended for myself. We tend to feel stuck when we feel we have no or little control, resulting to the feeling of not having over our own lives. And onto the next stage we find ourselves confuse and defeated by life in general.
“Being stuck in life is being in the state of questioning the past, present and future.”
Sometimes when feeling stuck we start to question everything we’ve done or want to do. We get confuse of where or how to start “rebuilding” our lives with doubtful beliefs and discouragement in hand – the feeling that the universe is working against us.
It’s all very overwhelming when you think about and not to mention exhausting!
We cannot control every aspects of life. That’s the number one rule; life will challenge us from here to there and in any direction either we like it, want it or even expect it.
However, how to deal with it all stuck is a choice. One can feel defeated, force any change and/or attempt to exercise control in every corner but trust me, it’s truly exhausting. I’ve lost counts of all the things I was forcing myself to become or do. I was making lists from left to right and forcing things to happen immidiately but only to get life slapp me across the face. And the more I tried the deeper I felt I was sinking and getting myself more stuck!
Eventually, I also learned that my feeling stuck was a symptom of wanting and needing control. And what got me unstuck was quite simple but also challenging to carry out, not until I changed my mindset:
– Letting go of control can actually make you stronger. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we can only control our thoughts, behavior and ourselves. Letting go of the need to control everything else can really set you free of unnecessary dispute and discouragements.
– Do what you love. Forget what you should or must be doing with your life. Forget about people’s expectations. Embrace what you already have and already know.
– Accept that life is unpredictable. It runs its course despite what we might feel, want or need. There is no ‘pause’ button, only our perserverance.
– Relax and watch life unfold as it’s meant to unfold; wanting and needing control just creates more problems than solutions.
– Don’t be afraid to dream! Realize that you’re capable and don’t let anyone tell you eitherwise. Surround yourself with people who are going to uplift you rather than pull you down.
I won’t say that my time of feeling completely stuck is completely over and I’ll never feel stuck again for that will never be the case but I know not to control everything and relax a bit more. There are times I feel discouraged and stuck because I don’t know what the future holds. Moreover, feeling stuck because the goals and dreams I want for my life seem to be unclear. This is where fear and doubt come in. And honestly, because I’m impatient!
I’ve realize now that when searching for the right answers or even when not knowing where or what the answer is, the solution lies in one simple idea: to stay calm and open. From experience, the answers have been right in front of me while being too busy feeling anxious to notice.
Most people fear uncertainty because it’s no surprise that we draw ourselves to familiarity. Often, we know what to do in difficult times, but we fear the outcome – the uncertainty behind the solution. We forget one thing that is certain when it comes to us human beings, namely the knowledge that we’re built to handle any unpredictable challenges. If not, I wouldn’t be sitting here. Isn’t that comforting to know?!
When it comes to setbacks or being stuck, we’ve all been there or will experience it at some point in life. The current and ongoing lesson in my life is to make uncertainty an ally by realizing that everything that has happened to me good or bad has meaning and purpose. I try to avoid “what if” questions because it has a tendency of hanging over, and taking focus away from where I’m heading. Life has too many uncertainties to dwell on what if, don’t you agree?