Pt. 6 – Previous parts in the serie can be found here.
A weekly blog serie based on the character Mia – the rebellious one. A single twenty-something woman in search of many things – love not being one of them. Complicated is her middle name.
There is relief and a slight silence at the table. Behind us, the sounds of laughter generates. Henrik made his awkward exit back to his group of friends. I can’t help but think of the words of miss perfect and her scolding glare. Lecturing me the difference between right and wrong, as if I was a child. Reminding me of all my wrongs. She was good at it. It took only one slip and there she was, to remind you in case you had forgotten.
I check my phone in fear she had already made a phone call. I’m sure Henrik’s called her by now. Feeding her hunger for gossip, alas on my expense this time. No calls.
His warm and gentle touch grabs my attention. And to my surprise he seems unaffected by the whole situation. His appetite is still intact as it takes a bite of his burger. The first time I’ve seen someone make eating a burger a pleasant view.
“I’m…” I start, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves to make sense. The palm of my hands is still damp from sweat. “I’m not in my right mind.” A fair warning. Perhaps he’ll make a run for it, if he wasn’t too busy seducing his burger.
I would eat but my appetite flew away along with Henrik. Leaving me in paranoia. My mind is thinking of a million reasons to get up and walk away. But I can’t. He’s got me captivated by his charm and his ability to make sense of things. It feels right, yet all too wrong.
“Calm down,” he says, gently putting his burger down. “Everything’s going to be fine.”
My mind is not convinced. Have you met Maddie, I wonder. If knowing my sister he wouldn’t be telling me to calm down. I’ve got enough problem as it is. I don’t need yet another Maddie issue and judgements.
“I know what’s wrong with me.” I say leaning over as if it was a secret. But it’s no secret. It’s been known that I lack common sense. I thrive in reckless behaviors. “I’m reckless,” I reveal.
He flashes a knowing smile. Holding back laughter.
“Why aren’t you worried?” I ask, crossing my arms to illustrate the seriousness of this predicament.
“Mia, you need to relax.” he says releasing a slight giggle. Whilst shaking his head, astonished at my ability to worry, he announces, “You are truly a breath of fresh air.”
His words is calming me down. Reminding me of mine overly exaggerative imagination.
“But how can you ‘relax’ when…” I say with worry in my voice. Afraid to even finish my sentence – when he has the most to lose, I tell myself. Afraid to put the fear in him and push him away. Calm down, I order myself. Putting a restraining on my craziness.
He puts down his fork with the three fries returning back on his plate. He straightens up and whilst staring at his fingers, he says “For a long time I’ve done the right thing for the wrong reasons.”
For the first time I truly I notice the ring on his finger as I listen to his words,“this time around, I want to choose the wrong thing for the right reason.”
I’m not sure of what he means but I dare not to ruin the moment. Even I know when not to spoil the mood. I let him finish.
“And when it comes to work,” he adds with a more light mood, returning his stare. “We barely see each other any way. You work the night shift and I manage the house during the day.”
He pushes his plate. He’s managed to empty it all whilst I take note that tomatoes may or may not be a favorite. The ribs on my plate that I have been craving for all day looks rather cold and less appealing to my senses. We seem to be done. All resulting in one satisfied appetite and one nervous wreck. When will you ever learn, I wonder in exasperation.
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