I was a rebel without a cause, permitted to rise in opposition. I was brave. I was unique. I had the world at my feet and could become whatever I wanted to be. Then, with actions reflecting a childlike innocence, exploring became a sport. I was fearless thus encouraged to face my fears or leave them behind.
For in the eye of a child, everything seems possible as one attempts to conquer the world.
All before the outside world, life and society imprinted its preconceived ideas about who, what and where. In changing eras making innocence a victim in a world in motion, with each era different from the previous.
I was born oblivious of how the world operates. Safe in the arms of my mother, I knew of no real hardship. My turmoil in my innocent life consisted of boredom, challenging my creativity. Before society gradually revealed its true colors I was an innocent being who knew too little of reality.
We are all born innocent until society makes its mark – with the good, the bad and the ugly. All in which we all play a role in. For we are society and we are all guilty of something.
In total oblivion and absolute certainty, I could say that the world I knew as a child had no fault. I was sheltered to protect my innocence.
I was young and care free, as children should be. I knew of no heartfelt sadness as well as the downswings of life – at least, not the kind that I could not bounce back from with a simple warm and gentle hug or comfort.
As someone in the making – learning by living, I was understood hence excused of all mistakes. I was both right and wrong, either way, I was accepted for who I was.
I was allowed the honor brutal honesty, be playful yet praised for my imagination. Before the raptured of society’s opinion, I was reminded of my uniqueness.
From oblivious and innocence to slowly learning and discovering, I measured myself to the ‘rules’, assumptions and beliefs.
Today we fight in society’s spotlight where the winner is rewarded the power to define what should and what shouldn’t.
As an adult, I seem to have forgotten my uniqueness while insecurity puts its handcuffs keeping me under control. My thoughts, assumptions and beliefs – some designed by society – sends me in a spiral of negativity. Attempting to rise above I keep drowning in an ocean of judgements reminding me that before society told me who I should be I was good enough.
Most important – I was me.