From my novel, a romance/realistic fiction.- The One You Leave Behind (working title).
They say face your fears, right?! So here’s a tiny (maybe not so tiny) excerpt from a novel I’m either pulling my hair writing or procrastinating. It’s an unfinished project and I’m learning as I go, so bear with me. I’ll leave at that.
I turn of the engine and take a deep breath trying to calm my nerves. I feel mother’s comforting touch next to me, calming down my raging pulse. As I look at her trying to think of what to say, she grabs my hand and says in a whisper “I know.” With no doubt in mind, I felt the sincerity in her words. She knows. I was there, ten years ago.
I turn around to face the boys sitting behind and give them an ensuring smile. A smile to symbolize that even without him, we’ll be alright. That they still have me – no matter how difficult the situation. Althought it’s been a year, up to present day, I still haven’t figured out how I’m going to manage being a single parent. I never prepared for it but then again, without trying other options who plans to become a single parent – completely alone with all that comes with it. She didn’t. A living proof that it’s possible. As it would seem life has a grotesque way of happening on its course to whatever, leaving a trail of tears and rage behind.
Elias on my right and Lukas on the other – their hands in mine I hold them with a firm grip. Mother is behind – like the angel she is, guarding us. We march on like the brave soldier we’re trying to portrait. On our way to honor and pay respect to the fallen. It takes thirty-four steps and here lies a beloved husband, father, son and brother. I want to fall down on my knee, allow tears all access but I don’t – it’s been done, it didn’t do me any good. I feel the urge to shout on top of my lunge and ask the God I don’t believe exist once more, why – but I’ve asked several times, no answer has been given. So I put on a brave face for the kids and in a moment of silence, we mourn.