…we’re all dealt different set of cards and we all handle them differently!
There comes a point where the mind becomes a battlefield and life becoming a battle to overcome.
You feel powerless. You’re holding on to whatever good that’s left. Common sense is near to non-existent. You’re in pain inside but you still manage to put on a smile on your face, well aware it’s all for show. No one needs to know. You tell yourself, ‘no one cares’ without even giving them a chance. But hoping someone will see through it all. You find yourself in the state of sadness which means endless inconsolable tears is inevitable at any time or place.
The state of depression cannot be described only by one word. From experience, it’s a state of multiple emotions, and the condition is complex like the human mind and life. When depress, a person battles several emotions, sending that person in a stream of emotional mess.
Of course you try small things to help you along; happy thoughts, exercise, socializing, meditation etc. But even a baby’s laughter doesn’t do anything for you!
At some point you gather the courage to let someone (you trust!) in on your secret; you’re stranded in what seems like hell. You’re hoping for some guidance, light and clarity in any type, shape or form.
But instead you’re faced with these statements (so called ‘advice’) – well meant in the moment but completely not comforting to a fragile mind and spirit. My thoughts when I heard (and still hear) these statements…
“Just think positive.” – Oh, I don’t know how many times I’ve heard this. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that positive thinking can elevate us and set our mood in a more positive direction. But come on, don’t you think I’ve tried that approach. At this point, thinking positive won’t cure me mentally. Unless you can magically put a positive thought in my mind, don’t bother. You got to give more than those three words. Perhaps, like how I can insert a positive thought in my head, then you have my attention.
“Relax, it will all work out.” – OK, the last four words aren’t so bad. I guess, what’s not doing it for me is the word “relax”. What do you mean ‘relax’? I’m calm, way too calm. I lie in bed and cry all day. Right now, I’m the poster child for “relax”. Relax my a**
“Maybe you should start working out, it might help.” – If you can provide me with an energy source, courage, motivation and the meaning of life, then I can maybe, just maybe see the meaning of a workout session. Didn’t care before, what makes you think I will now?!
“I didn’t even notice that something was wrong with you.” – Well, now you know! Wait a minute, what do you mean “wrong”?
“You’re strong.” – How would you know?! You know nothing about me. You seem to know something I don’t, enlighten me.
“Control your thoughts.” – Well, too late for that. They are out of control hence the chaos in my mind and my emotional state. You try talking to them…
My point is, unless you can back these or any other statements with some helpful advice (or a detailed ‘how-to-do-list’) don’t bother. A person battling life (in other word: Depression!) is in a chaotic state of mind, all in a vicious cycle.
Don’t play doctor! Listen! Sometimes, “You say it best, when you say nothing at all”