What Not To Say To Someone Battling Life


…we’re all dealt different set of cards and we all handle them differently!

There comes a point where the mind becomes a battlefield and life becoming a battle to overcome.
You feel powerless. You’re holding on to whatever good that’s left. Common sense is near to non-existent. You’re in pain inside but you still manage to put on a smile on your face, well aware it’s all for show. No one needs to know. You tell yourself, ‘no one cares’ without even giving them a chance. But hoping someone will see through it all. You find yourself in the state of sadness which means endless inconsolable tears is inevitable at any time or place.

Battling The Downswings of Life

The state of depression cannot be described only by one word. From experience, it’s a state of multiple emotions, and the condition is complex like the human mind and life. When depress, a person battles several emotions, sending that person in a stream of emotional mess.

Of course you try small things to help you along; happy thoughts, exercise, socializing, meditation etc. But even a baby’s laughter doesn’t do anything for you!

At some point you gather the courage to let someone (you trust!) in on your secret; you’re stranded in what seems like hell. You’re hoping for some guidance, light and clarity in any type, shape or form.

But instead you’re faced with these statements (so called ‘advice’) – well meant in the moment but completely not comforting to a fragile mind and spirit. My thoughts when I heard (and still hear) these statements…

“Just think positive.” – Oh, I don’t know how many times I’ve heard this. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that positive thinking can elevate us and set our mood in a more positive direction. But come on, don’t you think I’ve tried that approach. At this point, thinking positive won’t cure me mentally. Unless you can magically put a positive thought in my mind, don’t bother. You got to give more than those three words. Perhaps, like how I can insert a positive thought in my head, then you have my attention.

“Relax, it will all work out.” – OK, the last four words aren’t so bad. I guess, what’s not doing it for me is the word “relax”. What do you mean ‘relax’? I’m calm, way too calm. I lie in bed and cry all day. Right now, I’m the poster child for “relax”. Relax my a**

“Maybe you should start working out, it might help.”If you can provide me with an energy source, courage, motivation and the meaning of life, then I can maybe, just maybe see the meaning of a workout session. Didn’t care before, what makes you think I will now?!

“I didn’t even notice that something was wrong with you.” – Well, now you know! Wait a minute, what do you mean “wrong”

“You’re strong.” – How would you know?! You know nothing about me. You seem to know something I don’t, enlighten me.

“Control your thoughts.” – Well, too late for that. They are out of control hence the chaos in my mind and my emotional state. You try talking to them…

My point is, unless you can back these or any other statements with some helpful advice (or a detailed ‘how-to-do-list’) don’t bother. A person battling life (in other word: Depression!) is in a chaotic state of mind, all in a vicious cycle. 

Don’t play doctor! Listen! Sometimes, “You say it best, when you say nothing at all

Happy Wednesday!

7 thoughts on “What Not To Say To Someone Battling Life

  1. noblethemes says:

    I certainly understand and agree… Well meaning people often speak from an hell of ignorance! So from one who understands to another battling the same “demon,” all the best and blessings! (And if interested, there are certain ‘techniques’ and/or ‘therapies’ I’ve found helpful, along w/medications… If you’re interested, only ask; if not, that’s quite alright! I understand that, too! 😉 )

    Liked by 1 person

      • noblethemes says:

        Daily meditation (and prayer), aromatherapy, music therapy along with (for me) more regimented stretches/light exercise, proper diet, consistent sleep schedule have all helped. Also, relaxing teas (instead of caffeine), and other healthy drinks have helped, especially before bedtime. And, believe it or not, paying more and “deeper” attention to nature around me and expressing my thankfulness for life… All of this has and seems to be helping me.


      • Amina Berg says:

        Great techniques. I’ve tried some of them and still do. But so far writing (not just for my blog) has helped me a lot. Pluss focusing on what I have. I try going out for walks now and then. I love music, so I combine that with dancing (in the living room) when I’m alone. 😉
        Thank you for sharing, noblethemes!
        Until next time. ☺

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Melisa says:

    I’ve asked myself how others should approach me when I’m in such a state, and I feel that they don’t need to tell me anything. A hug, a gentle pressing of my hand, or a pat will do. But then I’m thinking maybe a handwritten letter would be nice too. ♡

    Liked by 1 person

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