Moving, either to a new country, new place or new house – temporarily or permanently, can be exciting or challenging. Of course, it all depends on several things; the where, the why and the who.
According to my mother I used to be an extrovert child but the moving around apparently made an impact on me and in some level affected my personality growing up. I became more calm and didn’t speak unless spoken to. I spoke through writing and retrieved to fantasy world – solitude and paper became good/confided companions. At least my fantasy world was a stable element in my life.
Although I turned out “good” (for lack of a better word) – educated, my sanity is intact (the last time I checked) and not completely traumatized by the events of relocating to new places, I experienced some challenges along the way.
I would say there was more crucial downsides than upsides to moving…
– It makes holding friendships hard and at times almost impossible (I said almost). I would make new friends whilst trying to take care of previous friendship from a distance. Old friends faded away, new ones were the novelty of my new reality. I guess, I’ve learned the meaning and importance of friendship from a distance.
– It can be a lonely affaire. However, if you’re the only child (like I am and come from a tiny family like I did, then loneliness is a part of the journey and a loyal friend. I managed to make friends but building a relationship takes time.
– The new girl factor; now this could easily become a positive side effect of moving. And at times it was, depending on where I had moved to. The negative part is finding the effort and guts to make friends. That’s always challenging. In later years I almost gave up. Not to forget the constant feeling of being on display in a new town/school. Being the “exotic” new kid (meaning: only black kid) didn’t help ease the unwanted attention.
– I’ve lived in five different counties, so that meant adapting to a new dialect every freaking move. Every county in Norway introduces you to a new dialect – one of the complexity of the Norwegian language. My dialect is all over the place. Nowadays people assume I come from the capital because of my dialect. I’ve lived there, but for less than six month before we having to move. My Norwegian at that time was close to none existent. To people’s surprise, I’ve got some explaining to do.
– No specific roots, in the sense that my home lies all over the map – like a nomad. I used to be envious of those that could say, “I’m going home for…” meaning a place of familiarity, security and belonging. In the later years, I’ve discovered and decided that home is wherever mother is.
I don’t want to be all negative for most things has it’s ups and downs. I didn’t enjoy the moving that much but in the wholeness of everything I can say there was also some upsides behind the whole moving around experience.
+ New people/acquaintances/friends. You meet all sort of types, I guess that’s how my habit of observing people and personalities originated. It’s alway knowing or meeting new people, right?
+ A develop conscious. I became more self-aware of my surroundings, the people around me and my thoughts. Today, I like the fact that I’m more of a thinker rather than a talker.
+ Creativity became a valuable quality and a true friend. Writing became a treasurable hobby, which I’m grateful for today.
+ Genuine bond between mother and daughter. She’s not just my mother but also my best friend. Together we’ve fought through barriers; we’ve laughed and cried.
+ Solitude is not a scary monster to avoid – it can be a blessing in disguise. Loneliness is at it’s worst if it’s eating you up inside. In my situation, I knew I wasn’t completely alone thus loneliness became more “bearable”. I had my mother with me and I accepted the situation for what it was. Today, solitude is my meditation.