From a past not long ago I had forgotten how to chase a dream; not just any dream but my own.
Another morning. Gratitude is evoked; a chance for a new day, I’m alive and grateful for that. Nevertheless, I can’t seem to cast away the feeling of yearning for something more. The feeling like something important is missing; like a dark cloud in my footsteps. I wake up, get myself and the kids ready – a repetition; a stressful task at times but still a task I’m glad to be doing. For the reason that it has meaning, also in the sense that if I don’t do it then who else will – I matter.
I shouldn’t be complaining. I mean, I have everything I need and a bit more. I am blessed. Yet that doesn’t seem to satisfy the heart that keeps on yearning for a missing piece, a crucial piece. I swear, I could go through my days in an apathy state of being while searching for whatever that is or should be; which seems like an everlasting strenuous task.
Looking back, something was missing but now something is holding me back. Denying the truth is building a hurricane that will soon show its mighty force. I keep asking myself the same question over and over again, like a broken record; “Am I doing what I want to do with my life? Which follows with a second question: “What do I want?”. I know the answers, but funny enough I find myself like a child trying to pick an ice-cream flavour, convincing myself that chocolate, although my favorite is not what I want. And that vanilla is the right choice, which will probably satisfy my taste. Pleasing the mind but not the heart.
Following Our Dreams Matter!
We’re never too old to follow our dreams. I believe that, I truly do. I admire those who manage to do so. But honestly, the sooner the better! For me, my biggest fear in life is waking up someday with regrets of not having the courage to follow my dreams no matter how unattainable they may seem to any naked eye, including my own.
I know now from my personal and not so previous battles that one cannot fight what is inevitable. Therefore, I can share from experience that suppressing your true desire and dream is just exhausting – and apparently a waste of time (and energy!). Go figure!
I’ll share with you something that took me awhile to realize and admit to myself – and something that’s becoming harder for me to deny; writing is what I want to be doing with my life and not to mention with my time. Writing has been a love affair I come running back too. In my heart a writer is what I ought to be, aspiring to become an author someday. There, I’ve said it! If it felt good to say it, I’m not sure – I’ll have to get back to you on that.
I can fabricate the truth all I want. I can with a strong will deny myself what lies inside. However, the heart doesn’t deceive, unless the mind takes over and attempts to rationalize the heart’s desire and truth.
No matter how much I try to push aside my dream, my heart clearly knows what it wants but my mind is stuck in the line of questioning every aspect of the dream and in enters all doubts, fear and everything that can possibly go wrong.
“The road may be unclear, but it doesn’t mean
that it’s impossible to reach my destination.”
We all have dreams; some bigger than others and some more achievable. Dreams are our subconscious communicating with us. We can try to avoid them and serve ourselves with more convincing lies and contradictions but the quiet voice inside always speaks louder.
Get Closer To Your Dream(s)
The beliefs I carry with me are neither wrong or right. I’ve mentioned before, I’m not an expert and I don’t claim to be. But I’m an expert in my own life, the same goes for you and your own life. I can use my experiences, thoughts and emotions to share with you what I know.
First of all, wake up from oblivion and that can start with self-awareness or maybe a fall.
Fear has a tendency to bury our dreams and our deepest desires in pile of “don’ts and can’ts”. The questions I had to ask myself to get me here was the “what…” along with the “why…”
- If you’re stuck in life, ask yourself – “What do you want?” This where you dig deep and hard. Some call it soul searching.
- Before chasing the dream, ask yourself the “why”-question. Why do you want to be a writer? This
- Don’t be afraid to bask in your dream whatever it might be. See yourself living the dream. Does it feel right? Is it worth it?
- Believe in your own ability to create greatness. Cast away your fears and doubts.
- Make a choice to chase the dream (on to the “How..”), because the truth is that we all have to start somewhere. Start with what you have and what you know. The rest will fall into place (well, that’s what I’m hoping).
- Still stuck? What’s stopping you? What’s stopping you in the now? Let’s eliminate the obstacles or chose to work with them to find a solution.
I know, it’s all easy said than done. I’m not even sure if I gone through all my advice (the steps). Nevertheless, change takes time and working towards something takes hard work, determination and patience. At times, I lack the last mentioned.
Life is about learning, from newborn until the day we take our last breath. Our journey starts with self-awareness, along with discovering who we are and what we desire. And hopefully, ends with us being our true self! The rest is not in our control.