I believe in hard work but the kind of hard work that automatically gives something back. Not necessarily money, although that can also be a source of motivation. However, with hard work our cup is slowly drained while focused in fulfilling the task. And when we give; either be strength, energy, mind, ideas, thoughts, care and even love – without something filling the cup, we’ll eventually end up with a malfunction system and in worst case fall flat on our a… And left with the feeling of not having nothing more to give – all drained out.
Like other aspects in life, finding balance is important and as Oprah says it so simple but so well
keep your cup full, keep yourself full
Motherhood, it’s no picnic! But then again, who said it would be? It’s hard work, yet it’s suppose to be. After all, we’re raising a human being (actually two) and preparing that being for what’s to come in the real world. There is nothing easy about being human so raising one will no doubt have its difficulties. With that in mind, failing at the ‘grand task’ may cause small or big problems; failing is therefore NOT an option? In addition, there are expectations; from ourselves, the child, other parents, people around and not to forget society. Apparently, everyone’s got their opinion on how a child (mine and yours) should be raised and what it should have and not have. Hell, my career background (description) is to define and evaluate what makes a good parent and what makes a bad parent – with research as a back-up.
In my opinion, motherhood/parenting is the toughest job out there (if you’re a parent, and disagree please, enlighten me!) Since being a mother (last I checked), I can only speak from a mother’s point a view, but I’m sure this also applies for fathers? For me, motherhood requires (almost) everything of your being; focus, awareness, energy and your everything. You have to be present 24/7 for that child, but you know what makes it easy to do this tough job – day in and day out – you receive so much in return. It’s the best aspect to any tough job; if you enjoy giving (your time, energy, enthusiasm etc.), the abundance awaits. Hard work should be something that nourishes you; to grow, evolve, expand or even nourishes you to be a better you, and that’s the benefits of motherhood for me.
Now, we’ve established that motherhood is hard work but nourishing. Nevertheless, I’m not going to sugarcoat the whole experience. After all, I’m human with flaws and all – bad days and good days. I have my bad days where I want to take those children and smack some senses into them. Or sometime just want to lock myself in a room and just space out to another planet or at worst times, escape. But do I even come close to doing all this horrible things? NO! For the biggest reason that I love my children and I’m “stuck” (in a beautiful and loving sense) with them through thick and thin, better or worse (as they are too). Furthermore, because I know that my children are depending on me, they need me for guidance, to take care of them and love them no matter how difficult things get; Mommy’s sticking around no matter what they say or don’t say, do or not do. (wich is the most sensible and responsible thing to do).
I’ve now shared that motherhood nourishes me, gives me a lot in return and not to mention that through motherhood I’ve learned a lot about myself. Like, I didn’t know I had the ability to be patient, have so much love another human being as I have for my children. I never thought that kind of love even existed. I knew my mother loved me and still does but growing up I couldn’t fathom the kind of love she kept ranting about and on several attempts tried to explain it to me. I remember the adolescent version of me would sometime stare at her with the look of confusion or I would sometimes roll my eyes while thinking it all just another guilt-trip.
Motherhood has also taught me:
- to share/give (even when I’m not feeling like sharing)
- to love unconditionally, well we can debate on that another time
- creativity, there are so many ways you can entertain a child (especially a toddler). Who knew?!
- to appreciate quiet surroundings. Aaah, silence and a hot beverage which brings me to my next appreciation…
- …a good book. Well, books in general.
- how to compromise. I know what you’re thinking, but on a busy day; compromising can save the day. Try reasoning with a two year old!
- last but (definitely) not least; S L E E P. You get the drift, explanation not needed here.
Caring for a child has its ups and downs but its ups are my motivation: their Precious and Innocence being. The essence of motherhood (or parent for that matter) for me is not giving a child what it wants but what it needs. There’s physical needs that applies to all humans. And on to emotion/mental needs such as…..
Writing this just made me miss my boys even more. I’ve been so lucky to have been given a week alone (!!!) while they are on a summer vacation with their father (because I had to work). So far I’ve been basking in solitude…I’m starting to hear voices (it’s just the neighbours though).
It’s when we spend time in solitude,
we appreciate even more of what we
usually take for granted.
– Amina Berg