After a couple of months spent in my own bubble while healing. I’m back to my everyday life again, juggling work, family, friends and me. Taking things day by day!
And lately, it’s come to my attention that I keep almost chanting the words “screw it…” in my head whenever I find myself in uncomfortable situations or in situations where I usually put a lot of (unnecessary) weight on my shoulders. Moreover, I have to say that just by having a “screw-it”-attitude or approach on certain things is helping me deal/avoid stress, self-doubt and other insecurities.
In March, I posted a journal with a discussion on the Good-Girl Syndrome. In there, I describe the “good-girl” as being a yes-person amongst other “symptoms”. Back then, I was trying to reconnect with my true self and what felt right for me.
Now, keep in mind that I write ‘sometime’ considering the title. Because the topic I talk about here is a necessity, but a necessity that doesn’t apply to everyone and every situations. But if you’re like me – a people-pleaser for better or worse, then maybe this approach can aid you?
There comes a time in life when we can allow ourselves (perhaps at times demand) to just stop carrying the weight of the world on our shoulder and focus on what’s also equally important – namely the self. That time also comes with the need to stop putting everything in and just say (maybe not aloud): “Screw it, what do I want?”
I’ve mention before that for a long time I’ve put others feeling, needs, wants, opinion, thoughts (basically anything) for the fear of hurting, disappointing and always wanting to please those around me, to the extent that I pushed my feelings aside. Thinking of what I wanted or desired would send me on a guilt trip. For a while, I seem to have forgotten one crucial detail: it’s my life, my life to live and experience. In the end, that’s what led me to a breakdown, physical and emotional. Now, for some reason I practice a “screw it” approach for many things in my life and decided that I was going to live my life the way it felt right for me.
Now, calm down, I don’t mean to become self-involve, selfish or major egotistical. What I’m merely pointing out is the importance of being truthful to yourself. Moreover, that on occasionally is acceptable to put your feelings/desires first and that it’s OK to just say no, it won’t be the end of the world if you do.
I like to think of myself as a selfless person. I possess too much consideration for others to become completely selfish. Nevertheless, my goal is to find the balance between others and me. The same applies to other things in life – finding balance.
Instead of striving for everyone to like me, I’m striving to be who I am. And with all kinds of opinions, expectations and thoughts swirling around me on a daily basis, it’s impossible for me to gratify every single one of them. Therefore, why spend all my resources and energy trying? Most of us have free will (or should), therefore not obligated to please everyone, nor is it possible.
Trying to please everyone all the time only suppresses your true being and the good that is in you. You tend to lose awareness of how valuable you are.
I’m a sensitive and intuitive person. Therefore, I easily put too much “in” and carry a lot on my shoulders. Some are not even my burden to carry and some are not worth carrying.
With all that said, I don’t want to end up shutting the world out. But I’ve learn there is nothing wrong with wanting to please those around me, I just have to remind myself to on occasionally sieve out the “weights” that don’t serve purpose or suppress me.