“You say you’re ‘depressed’ – all I see is resilience. You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn’t mean you’re defective – it just means you’re human.” – David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas
Unfortunately, I feel like life is a battlefield these days. Tuning in helps, but brings up more questions than answers at times. I feel like I have to battle every emotion, fear, obstacle, disappointment and so on. I feel like a basket case. Yep, I’m not in the zone. I once again prove I’m human.
Sometimes I think life would be so much easier if there were big neon signs to guide us at all times. But I guess that would just suck out the fun out of life and the actual living and learning part of it.
Turning down the volume can be a curse and a blessing (forgot to mention that), depending on what you’re battling, mental, spiritual or physical pain. In my case, battling fear, discouragement, confusion – spiritual and mental? Well, life sometimes makes everything quite overwhelming. In one moment, I feel like a champion, in the next a defeated champion having to retreat. Just to show how unpredictable life is – well, my life.
The enemy seems to know my every move, feelings, actions and reactions. Too bad the enemy is me. Great, I’m sabotaging myself!
Caroline Myss puts it so well in sharing her thoughts on (YouTube)
“How To Find Your Purpose”:
“We are born intuitive. We are so intuitive that it’s actually
for most people the source of their greatest suffering.”
That couldn’t be more accurate for me. So, I’ve awaken and I’m self-aware. I know what I want. Now, what’s next?
I feel hopeless… As a proclaimed ‘thinker’, I ask:
How does one take the first step when there’s uncertainties behind everything.
Really, how does one really take a leap of faith in that everything is going to work out?
In my bad days (like today), I find it difficult to comprehend how one just ‘believe’ in what seems pretty much impossible at times. As a human being (a woman) with responsibilities and obligations, how does one separate from the group and see oneself as an individual with a path of it’s own and a purpose?
Again, I will quote Caroline Myss who shares advice and her thoughts on (YouTube)
“Why Being Alive Means You Have A Purpose”:
“Have no judgements about your life, no expectations and
give up the need to know what happens tomorrow.”
Great advice and it makes sense. But just one question though: how does one do that?